October 30, 2006
Well I have finally figured out the damn password to this blog. I forgot it for so long I had to create a new blog on here. Now I forgot what screen name I used for the other one. Go figure right?....lol! Well to catch you up....Dwayne is an ass...lol...the kids are worrying me and I got a job. I now work for motel 6 as a night auditor. The kids worry me because Declan has been loosing weight. I am afraid that he is stressed out that he is not eating. Merlin is becoming violent. I don't know if it is a stage they all go through or what but he hits declan and bites people.
I forgot to tell you that CPS was called out on me. After I have been so careful to do everything right so they would stay out of my life. It was the next dorr nieghbor that did it. The accusations were that I was cheating on Dwayne and that the house was messy, and that the yard was never mowed. One it is no ones buisness if I cheat on Dwayne. Two we didn't have a lawn mower, and I have 2 toddlers. The house is not going to be spotless. I have had to do a psyc eval. I am waiting to hear what those results are. I hope that my case worker can get me out of here. But I hope that it doesn't come back to bite me in the butt. Well I am going to go . I need to finish getting ready for work.
TTYL
Jenifer
Posted at 10/30/2006 8:14:57 pm by
ShadowEyes26
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December 11, 2005
Hello my people. I know it has been a while since I have written in here. It has been hard for my boyfriend has been reading this and I have not been able to catch it up so that he couldn't read it. But I think I have jsut about got it all figured out. I haven't talked to anyone unless I go to use a pay phone. Our phone has been shut off and I am going nuts over here. I need more people to talk tp then my kids. It looks like blog has up dated alot of thier things. I can't find my cousin's blog on here anymore. Well I have a new blog so if anyone wants the addy let me know and I will give it to you. TTYL!!
Jen
Posted at 12/11/2005 11:33:17 am by
ShadowEyes26
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October 24, 2005
I am so totally confused. My cousin sent me an email tonight that said for me to leave her alone and grow up. I thought she was one of the few people that really and truely was on myside about all this. I don't know what i did for her to hate me so. I am very upset about this. Well because of all of this I am no longer going to go to any of the family functions. If I am going to be treated this way to where I don't feel welcomed then i am just not going to attend. There has got to be an end to all of this negativity. I just don't understand why no one can see why I am leaving Dwayne. I am not doing it just for myself I am doing it for the kids. The kids are also being abused by Dwayne. Not just me. No one sees what truely goes on in this house because whenever Dwayne is home he puts on a face for everyone and pretends that he is the good parent and makes me look like the bad parent. It looks like everyone is taking Dwayne's side on this and it isn't fair. I am trying to get on my feet but I can't do it here where I am basically kept a prisioner in my own house. One day I will prove to everone that I did the right thing by leaving. I am sorry to any of my friend or family that read this if it offends you. That was not my purpose. One day I will show you all that I am a better person with out him than I am with him.
Jenifer
Posted at 10/24/2005 10:56:14 pm by
ShadowEyes26
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Pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well last night I went to the er. I have been having a great deal of trouble with my siatic nerve the runs down my left hip and down my leg. It was hurting alot last night. I ask Dwayne to take me to the ER but he wouldn't do it. So I called my dad and had him take me. Dwayne did manage to come and get me when I was through. That was a shocker that he actually got out. It was really cold and the only thing he did wrong was he didn't put shoes on Declan. Other than that he did everything right. The dr has me on darvocet and muscle relaxers. He said that I massively sprained my back. I woke up this morning and my chest was hurting really bad. I am still tired butI can't go to sleep. And I still have to go get little Jimmy from school today. Well I guess that is all for now. I have company coming over to see me and the kids so I have to run. TTYL!!!!!
Posted at 10/24/2005 11:46:04 am by
ShadowEyes26
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October 21, 2005
Well not to much is going on just dreading the next 12 days. It seems like time is ticking along and I have done nothing. I guess it doesn't help my feeling when I can't pack anything till the day that I move out!This is all very stressful you know. I wish that I could have someone come over to help me pack up everything the day i go to move cause I have about 2 and a half hours to pack as much as I can before the trucks gets here. Well I don't have too much more to say that you folks don't already know. So got to run. BBL!
Posted at 10/21/2005 7:33:58 pm by
ShadowEyes26
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October 16, 2005
Well there is great news for me and the kids!We are finally leaveing Dwayne. He doens't know it yet! It is hard for me to go into much details because Dwayne is still here and I am haveing to close the window everytime he walks up. But to give you the short of it for right now: The boys and I are moving in with my friend Michelle in three weeks and I am trying to get enough money to live on while i am there so if anyone reads this and can help me out even with a few bucks then I would greatly appreciate it. After staying with her for a few weeks I plan on moving into a shelter for battered and abused women. My dad is going to find out more about it. I have to do something. I can no longer stand the abuse that my children and I are going through. It is not fair for the boys. Well that is all for now. pray for us as we go through this trial of patience and stress!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jenifer
Posted at 10/16/2005 10:24:16 pm by
ShadowEyes26
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October 12, 2005
I know that it has been a while since I last wrote. Alot of things have been going on here. I have been talking a chat line. I have met alot of new people. Not in person but over the phone. I am also learning to type with out looking at the keyboard all the time. It also helps that I am buzzing on diet pills. I have been working really hard at cleaning the house. I spent 14 hours just cleaning my room and now Dwayne has gone in and messed it all up. But go figure he would mess anything up that I have worked really hard at doing. I am also trying to get the boys rooms in order. I am hopeing that next time my grandmother comes over she will not ahve anything to bitch about ...lol...I have met a man on the chat lines that is 6'4, 200 lbs and 29 with two daughters. He says that he loves that I am a tomboy. but still a female. He likes women that can burp and fart with the best of them...lmao. He has a very deep voice and I hope to meet him soon. We have been talking for two weeks now and I am planing on taking it slow. If you have gotten my email labeled to friends and family then he is the one that is going to help me. If not then ask one of my friends or family....lol. Well I beleive that I have written enough of a novel for now but it was all good. I am going to go finish clean because the house won't clean itself...damn it...LMAO. TTYL!!!!!
Jenifer
Posted at 10/12/2005 12:49:10 pm by
ShadowEyes26
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October 2, 2005
I don't know how to really describe the way that I am feeling at the moment! I will just say how I am feeling. It is not like anyone ever truely reads this like they read my cousin's. I feel trapped like a prisioner in solitary confinment. I can feel the life being drained from my body. At one time I was full of life and I would get up each morning ready for the new day and bouncing with energy. But now I slowly get out of bed and I dread the day ahead. I guess because I know that it will be filled with fighting and wishing for a better place. I have had people tell me just to leave him and go to a shelter. But it isn't as easy as they think. There is so much involved with it that they just don't know. There is the threat of CPS involvment. I will write more in a little while cause Dwayne is here!
Posted at 10/2/2005 12:36:06 am by
ShadowEyes26
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September 26, 2005
I have begun to walk everynight since it is too hot during the day. I am not sure if it is working yet. I will be able to tell once I get a scale. I hate those things but it will help me out. I know I have lost 20 before I started walking. I have only been walking for 2 days. I started Friday. I plan on walking after dwayne gets home from work at 3 am. At least until the weather gets cooler. Well I am really tired. I will write more later cause my hands also hurt.
Posted at 9/26/2005 1:55:47 am by
ShadowEyes26
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September 24, 2005
Why is it that men don't know how to shop? Well most men anyways. You take them grocery shopping even after they eat and they do nothing but fill the basket with nothing.300 bucks worth of nothing. I bought a few things for myself but most of it was for the boys. And we didn't even get diapers or formula. Dwayne wanted to do nothing but to get stuff for work. He didn't even think of others in the house. I don't care about myself. I could go without food for all i care. But when the kids need things I get them. Well enough of the ranting on about dumbass.
Well things have been ok for a while. I am bored all the time and dream of the day that I won't have to be in a hell hole where I am treated like a slave. The day that I will have to answer to no one but myself and my boss at whatever job I am working at the time. I want to be able to watch the movies I want and listen to the music I love and to sing as loud as I want with out someone saying," I am trying to sleep. Turn it down". Anyways. I will end this now before I go off again on men!!!....lol
Posted at 9/24/2005 9:59:49 pm by
ShadowEyes26
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